As mentioned in previous posts, I used to work for a rather shitty "alternative" grocery store that practiced every single other shitty corporate practice they swore to be the alternative to over the last six years. I "drank the Kool Aid" to some degree and climbed my way up their corporate ladder, only to realize after they lead me paddless up an infamous creek, they were just as shitty as any other company and I didn't particularly care to continue my tenure there. Before I could outright leave the company, I was struck down with a mystery illness (the throes of which I am still somewhat within the grasp of), thus making my exit far less colorful than I had planned.
While I consider most of my time there a giant waste of five years, it was not without its highlights and people who made my time working there much more tolerable and occasioanlly fun. I met some really interesting and funny people while working there, some of whom I ended up going on Hunter S Thomson-esque benders with (we'll cover those at another time when I get a better understanding of what
s "fiction" and what's evidence"). Other relationships were generally more "professional" in nature, yet were still rife with insight, inside jokes, and believe it or not, in depth music discussions.
Enter Oldman. Obviously his actual name is being redacted (mainly because I don't trust the seven of you that read this to not waste is precious free time by harassing him at his peaceful, quiet home), but Oldman was truly a diamond amongst so many of the dirtiest, clumpiest lumps of coal. WE originally met while I was working at a store in San Francisco during the holiday season of 2006. He was a new hot shot store manager type of guy, so they were working him through several different stores to get him acquainted with the policies and practices of his new job and freeing him from the shackles of his former company's practices (which probably weren't really all that different the new one he was learning when you got down to it, but whatever), so my initial interactions with Oldman were brief and much more formal. It took him being transferred to the store in Oakland where I was working at (and a particularly boozy management bonding trip to Lake Tahoe) for our friendship to truly blossom. As we worked in close quarters, spending hours pouring over the proper way to stack boxes of cookies and loaves of bread on tables and shelves, we began to talk about what we did outside of work to keep us from walking into the store and throwing chairs into displays as a result of the dire exasperation that was a bi-product of working for a particular store manager we both answered to. Oldman loved the hip hop. Instead of paraphrasing what he shared with me one day over some poorly merchandised display, I'll let him introduce himself in his own words.
"I'm just an old man (mid 30's) into all types of music, although 90% of the songs on my iPod are hip hop. I consider early 90's West Coast hip hop to be the golden era. To me, the classics includeThe Pharcyde,Souls Of Mischief, and Freestyle Fellowship. I still consider "To Who It May Concern" the most progressive hip hop album of all time. I'm down with modern pop rap too. I like Weezy (is he that prolific or is there a ghost writer?) as well as his whiney little sister Drake.
I'm from Venice and have been known to grab the mic myself. Check it out...
Before you go ripping on my boy's "skills on the mic", let it be taken into consideration that this was his first onstage public performance. He is not a career musician at any level, casual or professional, and from what I gathered via our conversations, was entirely self-taught via long hours spent in bedrooms, dormitories, and offices, those backgrounds all changing as years progressed. That being said, I consider that video to be a rather impressive outing, and I can testify, as someone who was standing front and center for said performance, that the motherfucker brought the house down.
I was always intrigued by Oldman's opinions on what was going on in hip hop because a) he was always pretty dialed in on to what was going on in hip hop at the given moment we were discussing, b) spoke of days gone by with the same sort of passion and wistful eyes that any well seasoned punk, metal, or indie rock person I personally knew did (I'm not saying that hip hop people don't care about their history, I just don't happen to know many that aren't complete douchebags leaping from one hot thing to the next), and c) Oldman had a real job, a wife, a child, and grown man shit he had to take care of. I admired that he was a guy who had all of the adult parts of life covered and going well (the man is totally an uberdad when out with his daughter), yet even with all of that going on, he still found time to have the passion to care about the music he loved, which instilled hope in a shithead like me, knowing that if I ever con some poor woman into settled down with me and letting me assault her ovaries with my dna, thus creating an army of smaller, more hyperactive versions of myself, that it would still be possible to sneak away from being dad and breadwinner long enough to get some serious riff time in. The passion for music didn't waver in the face of adult responsibility.
After Oldman made a couple of very well timed and witty remarks about the Thug Friends post from last weekend, I asked him if he would do a bi-weekly "column" (for lack of a better term) where I sent him four hot, unusual, or up and coming hip hop videos, and in turn he would offer quick reviews of them. If they were anything like his comments on Thug Friends, I knew at the very least we'd all be in for a laugh, and because he's a bad ass, he agreed, and I thank him DEARLY for agreeing to participate. So let's cut the shit and get to the inaugural "Oldman's Take On New Shit In Hip Hop" Column (this is obviously a working title).
Kreayshawn "Gucci Gucci"
"I'm on the fence with the White Girl Mob movement. I love that a local got a big record deal and they have a certain energy, entrepreneurial spirit, and a 'fuck what you think vibe' that makes them sort of likable. The beat is hard as shit, too. It bumps and its catchy without being corny. Then she opens her mouth and it all falls apart. Kreayshawn (and V Nasty) sound like they spend 1-2 minutes writing a 4 minute song. The "flow" is all of the flow of an Andy Sandberg SNL video short, but with none of the humor. Well, maybe some of the humor ('swag pumpin' out my ovaries' is a funny line). The whole time I was wishing it was an instrumental."
Tyler The Creator/Frank Ocean "She"
"The tale of two art forms. There's the video, and then there's the music. My first thought was 'Damn, this is dark'. I'm into some pretty melancholy music, but a song about a stalker/rapist/murderer? Damn. Not really my thing and maybe that's a good thing (maybe I'm more connected to humanity than I thought...anyway enough self reflection). The video on the other hand, was very interesting and a better demonstration of his (Tyler The Creator's) talent than the music was. When was the last time you saw a low budget/indie hip hop video that looked like it had a story board created for it rather than just shot in the mall (see Lil B "Pretty Bitch)? I also thought the combination of the super dark subject matter of the song with an r&b style hook was a rather creative contrast. I liked "Burger" on the Goblin album, and think his partner Earl has skills, but without the video I wouldn't have any reason to listen to this one. Instead: My favorite melancholy song of recent memory is 'The Way It Is' by Sapient. The production quality is off the charts."
Lil B The Based Bod "Pretty Bitch"
"First, I want to give props to the Swizard for sending me this clip. I was having a rough day and this made me laugh, so thanks (although it's also the Swizard's fault that I have 'Titties and Carrot Cake' stuck in my head)...Now the review.
I always try to look at the perspective of both sides on an issue. Even if I don't like something, I can usually figure out what it is that makes it appealing to someone else. I tried reeeeaaaal hard on 'Pretty Bitch'. I apologize to Lil B fans, but this is straight wack. If you take out the words 'bitch' and 'dick', you would have an instrumental. I want to think he is a genius for making a parody of over the top "swag" usage, but then I thought 'no, this shit is actually just terrible'. I've heard songs where he is significantly less terrible like 'Motivation' and 'Cold War', so he is capable of putting a coherent thought together. Unfortunately, he just isn't very good so to get his movement going he is on that gimmick train like making a song almost entirely out of cuss words, calling yourself a 'bitch', and calling your album 'I'm Gay' when you aren't. He should call his album 'Desperate' or 'Grasping At Straws'."
Black Nasty "Dreams of Fucking an Indie Rock Bitch"
"Huh? I will be sad if it breaks 1000 views."
Wise words from a decent man? I think so. Have a laugh, gain some insight, and stay turned for Oldman's next column offering slightly more mature insight on what's hot in the streets today.
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